Goodbye Body, Boxes, Linearity CD - A Course In Miracles

Friend: One of the things I noticed early on is that I know the truths of what you speak, but obviously they're not planted in my mind yet. It's like I was looking for a formula on how to dealwith this. That feels healthy. Is that right on? To look for a way to deal with this? I feel like I need a method.

David: I think initially it is. The deeper we go, it will come to a point where the method, or the stepping back, starts to become so second nature so to speak, that it's not even perceived as a method. Or the gaps just seem to get shorter and shorter. But in the beginning when the mind is untrained, it is helpful to have some steps to trace it back.

Friend: So, one of the thoughts that came up was I know what is best for my body. Which is utterly ridiculous, because if I knew what was best I wouldn't be going through all this right now. I recognize that's an authority problem. That I think I made this body and that I know how I can take care of it.

So, then I experience all this confusion. I used to be real regular in my exercise and I would eat a certain way. And breathing is very important to me. . . Tai chi, yoga. But then as we've talked about this body as illusory, I've kind of let these things fall by the wayside. Then I get into a lot of fear because the ego comes up and says, "You're not taking care of your body." So I'm going through all this confusion about what to do. And I believe some of this is healthy. Like I believe exercising is healthy and that I should be doing that.

I feel like there is this war going on inside me. Like there is this big war between me and God. And then I look at that and I think that's crazy, because I know God doesn't fight. So it doesn't really have anything to do with God.

If I let go of the body, it feels like death! I don't know how to be with the Holy Spirit and totally let go of my body concepts and what I think I need to do regarding this form.

I have this vision of how a Teacher of God should look as far as weight and being beautiful and slim.

Another thought that came up was the power of visualization. I mean,Victor Frankel got himself out of the concentration camp with health and well being and still able to play golf, if I remember correctly, because of all his visualizations and always knowing which way to turn and which way to go. So I think, well, I need to visualize regarding the health of my body. Maybe if I don't do anything about it that at least, if I visualize, I'll have health. But then I think, but this is still going back to the body. So I know there is something off with that.

So then I think about turning it over to God. And I notice how subtle [that is]. It's like, I can turn it over to God, but I'll turn it over because then I'll have a healthy body. I mean, I am just so stuck on the whole idea of having a body.

David: It's an end. Even when you say, "Then I'll have a healthy body." In your interpretation the body is --

Friend: It's almost like I think I can hide this thought from God. Well, here God. You can take my body and I'll just let go. But then there is this little thought hiding in the back of my mind saying, God doesn't know, but you are just really hoping you'll still have a healthy body. I mean, the whole focus is that.

I guess because the whole self-concept is so hooked into the body, my sense is that if I can unravel this there will be a huge opening for God, because the body is just connected to everything that we do. All of our self-concepts ultimately come back [to the body]. The separation that we feel comes back to the fact that I have a body or think that I have a body.

What I'm faced with is that when I keep looking at these thoughts . . . it's that I don't know how to do this. And I just must have this immense fear of God.

And yet, there's times when I feel this peace and I know that that's what I want. I want the Peace of God. And I just invite you to join me in that thought. I feel like I can't do this by myself. I really need to join with someone and look at these ideas.

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